


Rebirth of Loss

by TheLadyofMusic



Series: Life with Hannibal [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter (Hopkins Movies), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types, Hannibal Lecter Tetralogy - Thomas Harris
Genre: F/F, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Hannibal Lecture/Clarice Starling, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-02-28 21:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13279800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyofMusic/pseuds/TheLadyofMusic
Summary: Set after the events of Hannibal the book, Clarice and Hannibal are content with their life, travelling when needed (or wanted), until an unexplained sickness in Clarice leads to a revaluation neither of them expected: parenthood.Primarily based upon the features of the books, however some areas do use elements from the film and TV Series





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to my co-writer seemingly vanishing off the face of the Earth, I have decided to give the old girl a face lift. I hope you enjoy it just as much if not more :)

Clarice Starling sighed heavily as she stood out on the balcony of her home in Buenos Aires, eyes closed as she slowly breathed in the cool morning air in. She had felt nauseous that morning, had done the past few for almost a fortnight. That and the fact that she was a week late. She swallowed hard, grasping the railing tightly as a wave hit her. Her mind went over the only logical reason for these two correlating events.

It was now that her lover walked up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder, making her jump slightly. She relaxed, his familiar cologne filled the air around them.

"You're up early..." Hannibal said softly, lightly squeezing her shoulder, "or did you not sleep?"

"I slept…” She replied, “not a lot but enough," she said, straightening herself up as she turned to face him, "did you?" She needed to shift the subject off of herself.

"Same as always.” He shrugged, leaning down he kissed her lightly on the lip, brow creased ever so slightly, "you looked lost in thought,"  _ more than usual…  _  He looked over her, seeing she was tense he shifted, pulling out one of the chairs positioned beside her, his hand travelling down her arm, taking her hand as he sat. "Care to share?"

She looked down at him, a small smile on her lips. It still touched her whenever he showed that he still knew her so well, that he cared for her.

"It's nothing... I feel a little under the weather is all, it'll pass."

"If you're certain..." He was far from convinced, but wanted her to believe he was. He leaned back in his seat, drawing his hand back, crossing his fingers he rested them on his stomach, looking out to the view their home presented the pair of them. "Think you'll ever get sick of it?"

She smirked, turning to face him, holding the railing again with both hands, deciding to tease him.

"No... Depending on what 'it' is," she answered, looking back out, trying to present a nonchalant air, though her eyes watched him from the side.

"Anything, everything," he shrugged a shoulder, watching her in an identical way. She turned her head to look at him, giving him her full attention, "the view, living with a hidden identity…” He looked at her in return, “my company..." He finished with a wink. She shifted on her feet, thinking over the answer fully till she was satisfied.

"The view changes often enough, so no. Having a hidden identity will always be strangely fun..." She smirked.

"Oh, I see," he turned back to the view, clearing his throat slightly as he pushed his seat back slowly, rising to his feet, turning to leave. "If that's the case, I can be on my way you know…” She grasped his hand, stopping him.

"You... Are... You," she said, shaking her head,  _ ever the poet.  _ He chuckled softly, turning back to face her, the two looked at each other dead on.

"And you, yourself and no one else," he returned, taking her other hand in his. "You are sure that there is nothing on your mind..? You seem…” He thought over his words, “distracted." His head tilted to the right, brow creasing slightly.

She sighed, deciding there was no reason in hiding it, he would figure it out eventually, he always did.

"I've been feeling off for the past few days... Almost a week now… Maybe two…” This was the part she was most nervous about, “that plus I am late, is making me… Go over all the possibilities, and the top one seems to be…”

“To be, what, Clarice?” She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself composed, calm.

“That the cause of my queasy stomach, and my delayed period, is a… Baby,”

"A baby?" He said, eyebrows shot up. "You...want a baby?"  _ Not likely _ , she had never come across motherly, in any way, in all the time he had known her.

"No… Not so much want... More the idea we may already be having one..." The eyebrows fell as he understood. His eyes scanned over her face, down, till they landed on her stomach.

"You think?"

“It’s not out of the question… It’d make sense, I mean we are hardly… Consistent in using protection."

"Only in a week… Two week?" He asked brow furrowing, "how can you be sure so soon?" She sighed, getting slightly annoyed by how slow he was being to understand.

“I’m not.” She stated, trying to keep herself calm, her genius was being everything but. "I am not sure, I am only saying that it isn’t out of the question.”

"Well..." He didn’t like her tone. He sat back down, having turned the seat around. He leaned forward, lacing his fingers so they formed a temple. He rested his lips against them. "You seem to be taking this… Rather well."

"I may be wrong yet, either way there is no point in worrying, we'll deal with it.”

"And, how do you think we should 'deal with it'?" He looked up, their eyes meeting. She sighed, closing her eyes.

"I am honestly not sure, Hannibal, I just know that we will… Somehow… I mean, we’ve dealt with everything else we’ve been dealt, why should this be any different?”  _ Where to start with that one... _

"Well… Given that a human life is a possibility,... Perhaps you should offer it a little thought?" He asked. She sighed, nodding.

"What do you suggest that we do?" She asked, needing his wisdom, his relatively outside view,  _ He hasn’t got a maybe baby growing in him after all... _

He closed his eyes and leaned back, letting it soak in, going over all the details. A baby would be a big change. It would make hiding difficult during the pregnancy when she needed care but would also possibly help with their cover. Who would ever imagine that either of them would end up with a child... But none of that mattered if...

"The first choice is yours," he said, eyes opening. "Would you want to keep it?" Clarice bit her bottom lip slightly, crossing her arms, her somewhat religious upbringing coming to mind, though even without it she knew her answer.

"I don't think I could knowingly, or willingly, kill a baby..."  _ A  _ **_maybe baby_ ** _ , there’s no guarantee yet... _

"I understand that,”  _ she could never be a willing killer, “ _ but will you keep it," he tilted his head, "claim it, raise it?" He cleared his throat, "is it YOUR baby?"

She turned towards the view, arms crossed lightly over her chest, weighing it all out. She’d been denied an ideal childhood, even if her father hadn’t been killed, her family had never been well off. She had a chance now to raise a child,  **her** child,  _ our child,  _ with the best of everything. It was clear from the start, to her, what her answer would be.

"Yes.”

He nodded, closing his eyes, his mind going over similar thoughts as she had.

"Alright then…” He answered, rising to his feet, “we will have to start planning... Things will change."  _ Everything _ . He turned to face her, hands at his side. "How are you feeling?" She shifted slightly, chewing on her lip still.

"Anxious,” she looked over her shoulder at him, “I want to find out, for certain.”

"I could go see about getting you a test. Just something over the counter, to help ease your mind, till we can arrange for something more… Certain.” She smiled softly, nodding.

“Please, Hannibal.” He crossed over to her, gently turning her so she was facing him fully, he kissed the centre of her forehead gently. 

“I will go get them for you, less you wish to come with me?”

"I could do with some air… Well, more stretch my legs… I think I’ve only had air for the last hour or so..." She wanted to watch him, she was unsure by his calm demeanour, it caused her slightly discomfort.

"If you would like too."  _ Damn _ . He had wanted some time to think, alone. He hadn’t noticed his body tense up, but she had. He offered his hand, “shall we?”

"Actually…I think I'll go lay down fit a bit, think a while..." She said, inwardly agreeing that the two needed some time alone, no matter how brief it was.

"You're sure?"  _ Why the sudden change of heart?  _ She nodded, taking his hand in hers, squeezing gently as they walked into their home.

"I think we both need time apart, to gather our thoughts before we can tackle this together.”

"Okay,”  _ that was his Clarice,  _  “I'll be back soon. Rest easy," he kissed her tenderly on the lips, letting go of her hand before he went to get his coat. She smiled softly, nodding.

 

She walked to their room, sighing heavily. She changed out of her day clothes and into one of her pyjama sets, before sitting on her side of the bed. She looked at the mirror, which sat across from her, her eyes going over her reflection till they rested on her stomach. Her brow furrowed.


	2. Chapter 2

As he made his way along the street, his mind raced. He had to keep reminding himself that just because she felt unwell of a morning, and she was late, did not automatically equal a pregnancy. Her hormones may well be going through the other change. Yes, that was a possibility, she may be rather young for it but when did nature ever let age restrain her wrath? Still, if it was that he would have seen other changes by now, no doubt of it. Not only was there the alterations that this child's existence would have upon their life, there was also the implications for her health and her safety now… Not to mention social implications... He shook his head, scoffing slightly.  _ When had he ever been one for “traditions”? _

Yes, there had been a time when he thought he would settle down, perhaps marry and have a family, a small or big one it hardly seemed relevant. That had all been before though, when he had been but a child, when the world had not seemed so cold. He had his light now, his Clarice… Just because she may be carrying his child did not mean that she wanted to marry him, or raise it with him…

 

Starling stared down at her stomach in her reflection, as if staring out the maybe baby that could be growing up inside of her. She reached down, intending to caress it but instead poked it, as if it were an alien rather than something natural.

 

He selected the best ones he could, picking up multiple ones to ensure the results were less likely to be mistakes. He brought them to the counter, smiling politely to the young lady behind the counter who served him. She bit her lip, giggling as she put the items through, telling him the total amount.

“Espero que obtenga los resultados que desea, señor,” she said, as he handed her cash. He nodded, smiling charmingly.

“Gracias, buenas noches.” He said, taking the bags as she handed it to him. He exited the store, making his way back home quickly, not allowing him anymore time to overthink things. 

He made his way to their bedroom once he had returned. He knocked lightly, before opening the door. He looked in, smiling with slight relief that she was not awake, thus causing no further delays. Her attention was trained upon her reflection.

"Knock knock..." He said as he entered the room, brown bag in hand, "may I come in? I'm bearing gifts." She looked to him in the mirror, smirking as she nodded. She rose to her feet, going to greet him, taking the bag off of him gently.

“Thank you, Hannibal…” She kissed him lightly, which he returned.

"There's more than one in there, just in case… You don't have to do them now, however, if you don’t wish to." He didn’t want to rush her, less she be aware of how uncertain he was about this whole scenario. He did want to speak to her about what he had been thinking, he had never looked into her family's medical history, let alone when it came to pregnancies and births.

"May as well do one now, maybe two… Three if we’re really unsure… Then we can confirm it later on… Had any thoughts while you were out?” She asked, walking over to their vanity table, putting the bag down she took three of the boxes out.

"Nothing important...What about you?" She raised an eyebrow at this,  _ liar. _

"Nothing important… Like you," she said, turning to face him, taking a deep breath. “Well, here we go.” She said, taking them into the ensuite, closing the door behind her. He sighed, sitting down on the bed, leaning forwards he ran his hands over his face. He disliked this, patience had never been his strong point, more important what he was waiting for the worse he was at it.

 

Clarice put the boxes down on the counter, picking up the first one. She opened it, taking out the device and instructions, reading over them, lips moving ever so slightly as she did. She put them down, opening the second she repeated it, as she did with the third. She sighed, as she followed them, chewing the inside of her cheek. She sighed, putting them on the side as she waited, pacing slightly.

 

He flopped back onto the bed, resting his head upon her pillow, his scent proving to have a calming effect upon him. He closed his eyes to think, plan how to react to every outcome that may be possible.

 

Ten minutes later, Clarice emerged once again. On hearing the door open, Hannibal sat up, before rising to his feet, going over to her. He took her hands in his.

"Any verdict yet?" He asked. She took hold of his hands, gently guiding them to her stomach, looking up at him, sucking both her lips in. He looked down at where his hands now rested, colour draining from him. He lifted his head up to look her in the eye.

"You're going to be a mother, Clarice." He said simply.

"You're going to be a father, Hannibal," she mirrored his words, not sure of what else she could say. This raised up what he had been thinking during his trip out earlier that night. He cleared his throat slightly, grasping her hands again.

"Am I?" He asked her, lifting her hands to his lips he kissed them. "Is that what you want?" This stung her slightly, though she nodded, standing firm in this.

“Yes, if I was to have a child, I would want it to be yours, and seeing as I am, I am happy it’s yours,"

"Really," he carefully pulled her closer, "do you want me to help you raise it?"

"I would appreciate that yes, especially since it is half you," she said, thinking this surely would go without saying.

"I didn't want to just assume," he said frankly, "Just because I undoubtedly conceived the baby, doesn't mean I am the best candidate to raise it." He held her hand at her side. "I don't want you to feel trapped or obligated."

"I don't. I am certain I could raise the baby alone, but I am also certain I don’t want to,”

"But, why me specifically?" She wasn’t getting his point, blood didn’t not mean it was a certainty she wanted to stay with him, she could be trying to save his feelings,  _ my sweet Clarice.  _ "This could be your way out, your ticket back to a normal life… If I am part of yours and this child's life, they will… Know of their father… Of their mother, of  **us** . How would we answer the questions that every child asks?” She sighed, nodding, closing her eyes, understanding his concern.

"If I wanted a way out, I would have left by now, and you know that," she said, annoyed at how little he thought of her affection for him, "I don't stay with you just for the thrill,"

"That's not what I said, Clarice..."

"I know, but you don’t seem to hearing me. I want you to be in my life, in our child's life… This is not a time to be paranoid, Hannibal.”

"Not paranoid... Just striving for clarity," he corrected, "making sure we both see and know the same possibilities." She nodded, laying her head upon his chest, holding him close, smirking slightly.

"As for  **those**  questions… We have enough time, between now and then, to think about what we tell them when they ask about our past… That’s if they even ask, it’s not a guarantee…”

"Children are inquisitive beyond their best interests..." He smirked, stroking her hair carefully. "Are you seriously suggesting that  **your** child wouldn't ask questions?"

“Well, I feel they do if they are planted in their head, so if we want to ensure that we have enough time, we just avoid those seeds till  **we**  are ready… Besides, we have to wait till they are born, can talk, understand… More than enough time.”

"Is there ever enough time?" She kissed him softly, stroking his cheek, her man could be so sweet sometimes.

"True, but for now…” She drew in a breath, a small smile on her lips, “we could, possibly, enjoy the idea of having a child,” she looked up at him, shrugging, “if that's your thing of course." He raised an eyebrow at her, amused at this turn in her.

"Are you trying to entice me into the idea of raising our child with little endearments, by chance, Clarice?” She shook her head while shrugging.

"It is kind of enticing on its own account… A little life that depends on you..."

"But if you mess up?" He cut in, looking her dead in the eye, holding her by her shoulders.

"I won't…” She thought of her own childhood, “well, least I hope I won't..."

"Sometimes you don't mean to. Sometimes you give a child all the love in the world and things still go wrong. Circumstances out of your control..it changes you forever, Clarice…”

"I'd die before letting anything happen to them... Would you?" She asked, looking him in the eye, challenging him.

"I would..." He said, mind travelling back to the day he wish he had been the one to die. “There is no question of that.” She nodded, kissing him tenderly on the lips, laying her forehead against his.

"It's decided then, no matter what this child will have the best life," she said, as he wrapped his arms around.

"The best..." He agreed, closing his eyes and enjoying holding her. Feeling her warmth, smelling her scent. Would the pregnancy change that too?

She wrapped her arms around him in turn, burying her face in the nook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

"I thought you wanted to nap earlier?" He reminded her. "Now that your mind is settled, do you need a rest?"

"Will you join me, or go walking?"

"I'll lay with you, if that’s what you'd like?”"

"I would, thank you.” 

He led her over to the bed, pulling back the duvette for them. She climbed into bed, as he got changed. Once in his own pajamas he lay down beside her, holding her close, her head resting on his chest.

"Comfy?"

"Very," she kissed him softly on the lips, snuggling into him He closed his eyes, his chin resting on her forehead and held her. Her warmth, her pulse he could feel along with her scent in his nostrils soon allowed him to relax, falling to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

In the weeks which followed, Hannibal and Clarice prepared for their incoming infant. She had used the rest of the tests later that day, after their nap, each one came up as positive. As time went on, her body confirmed the results. Her breasts started to swell, as did her stomach. Although he was reluctant to admit it, Hannibal knew deep down that he was worried that these natural alterations would cause a change in his lover for the worse. Yet, she seemed to be the same, only slightly bigger in the expected areas, unable to stomach certain types of food, and taking more naps during the day.

It was when the child within her had first began to move that he became truly spooked. The two had been laying in bed together, asleep, curled in on another, his hand resting protectively over her stomach as he had started to do. He found himself being drawn from sleep by an unexpected movement, beneath his hand. He opened his eyes, drawing his hand back, he looked to his lover. She was still asleep. He looked over her, brow creased slightly as his half asleep mind tried to find the culprit. It was now that he saw her stomach twitch, as if kicked from the inside. Clarice groaned softly, sighing in annoyance. She yawned, stretching, she looked over her shoulder at him. His eyes were wide and intense, focused on her stomach. He slid off the bed, going to her side, he knelt down, his face inches from her belly. It happened again, this time followed by another more to the left.

“Well, not even born and they want to keep me up…” Clarice muttered, slightly annoyed, though she couldn’t deny the slight joy she felt. She had begun to become concerned with the lack of movement, considering how far along she was now so tonight's surprise came as a wave of relief. She reached up, switching on the light within the headboard, smirking as she stroked Hannibal's hair tenderly. He was watching the unborn infants movements within her, entranced.

“Yes… They will certainly be trouble…” He said softly, reaching forwards, resting his hand on her belly once more. This seemed to soothe the child within, as they began to squirm rather than kick. Seeming to press them selves into his touch. He smiled softly, looking at her belly with pure adoration. Clarice couldn’t help but scoff, shaking her head.

“Already a daddy's girl… Or boy,” she said, which made him chuckle slightly.

“Well… They know you well enough, they are inside of you… They probably just like the extra attention.”

“Mmhmm…” She smirked, leaning forwards she kissed his brow. “Well, either way it’s better than them practising kung fu in there.” She said, closing her eyes, as she tried to nod back off to sleep. Hannibal stayed where he was for most of the night, shifting only so he lay on the bed with his head beside his lovers belly.

 

The next morning, Clarice lay on the sofa, eyes closed as she used the brief moment of quiet from her child to try and get a bit more sleep. Hannibal walked in, smiling softly at the sight which greeted him. He walked over, bending over he kissed her forehead, sniggering as it creased slightly. He rested his hand upon her stomach, the same dreamy smile coming to his lips as he had worn the night before. As if on cue, the baby began to squirm, pressing themselves against his hand. Clarice sighed, a tired smile on her lips as she opened her eyes to see the guilty look on her lovers face.

"I didn't mean to wake you..." He said, slowly drawing his hand back. "The tadpole does seem to like me… I wasn’t sure if that was just a one time occurance" He smirked at her, kissing her forehead again, lightly brushing a piece of her hair out of her face. "How are you feeling?"

“Well, I did call it…” She yawned, shrugging, “tierd mostly… Was just taking the chance to sleep while the little one did…” she said, stretching as she shrugged, “otherwise fine,”

"I didn't mean to wreck your nap," he frowned, looking down, "I didn’t know the little one can be… active, considering how quiet they had been before last night," even now he saw it rolling within her, stretching her stomach. He leaned his face in, lips against her belly. “Behave." He kissed her above her navel. The baby pressed into his face before seemingly settling down once more.

"Not even born…” Clarice began, laughing slightly, shaking her head in disbelief at the apparent situation. 

"Or it's scared," he offered, “they may just be trying to appease me,” he sat down in the floor next to her head. "Do either of you need anything?" He asked, wanting to make up for disturbing her.

"Probably just cranky that they'd been woken up, least they're like me in one way so far," she said, scooting closer to him, shaking her head, "no, I don't need anything else other than what's in this room," she lightly stroked his hair, smiling to herself.

"I said I was sorry." He pouted, nipping at her nose, smirking again, "do you want me to rock you back to sleep, oh cranky one?” He asked, kissing her lightly on the lips.

"Are you pouting at me Hannibal?" She smirked, leaning towards him she kissed him softly in return, smirking slightly, "now I think about it… There is something you could do to me…”

"Oh?" He asked, glancing at her stomach, as if the child could see or understand what they were saying. "A… Foot rub, considering present company?" He teased, winking.

"Mmm,” she rolled onto her back, stretching her arms above her head, “not what I had in mind, but I would never say no to such an offer…” He rose to his feet, carefully bending her legs, he sat on the sofa, placing her feet in his lap.

"At this rate, it will come out spoiled…” He muttered, though loud enough so she would hear. She rolled her eyes, hands resting on her stomach, stroking lightly.

"Even if it didn't, Hannibal, you'd change that within a week and you know it," she teased, earning a kick from her occupant when he moved her legs. “Oof, missy or mister does not like movement today…”

"Tadpole can get over it. Show em who's boss," he said, getting to work on massaging her right foot first. "I wonder where that tenaciousness could possibly have come from..." He tickled her heel slightly.

"I suppose it's a mix of us both as children... I imagine," she said, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing, narrowing her eyes at him slightly.

"Rude!" He 'scolded' before pulling her closer by her feet, making her slip down, though he only just repressed the laugh in his throat. "Still swollen..." He noted, trying to be gentle while shift the subject matter. She shrugged, sighing happily as she closed her eyes, wiggling her toes.

“It happens…”

The two sat quiet, he working on her feet and she watching him, a content smile on her lips.

"Better?" He asked, popping her toes, "is the tadpole pacified?"

"Almost… Just need a little something more…” She said, reaching for the remote. She grasped it, pressing one of the buttons soft orchestral music began to play. He smirked, rolling his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

"Of course… Other foot?" He held out his open hands, after laying the other one aside.

"Why did you roll your eyes? Not my fault the babies already cultured," she said, giving him the other foot, hitting him in the gut slightly. He lightly swatted her foot, but continued.

"I feel like it was less for baby's sake and more for mommy's indulgence," he said as he took it, giving it the same treatment.

“A little of both, to be fair… Why, do you disapprove?”

“Of course not… Just, your baby does have interesting tastes…” He kissed the tip of her big toe, lightly stroking her heels. “Though considering you are the mother… What else did I expect?”

"My baby? Last time I checked it takes two to tango," she said, sitting up slightly, swinging her legs off the couch so she could lean against him. 

"It could have been an immaculate conception, I have heard of bizarre things," he smirked, waiting to get punched, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing gently. She bumped her head against his cheek, laying her head on his shoulder.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she smirked in returned,


	4. Chapter 4

It had been an interesting journey, watching her the changes in her body and personality as the baby had grown inside of his lover. Hannibal masked it well, but he couldn't help but be anxious every time he glanced at the calendar, or saw her stop to catch her breath. She was fit to pop any day now.

Clarice lay back in their bed, sighing heavily as she closed her eyes, groaning softly as she stroked her huge stomach. She had been staying in bed more and more as the pregnancy went on, their child proving to be always restless. At this moment, the baby squirming like mad, as if trying to find a quicker way out. Hannibal heard her, tilting his head he made his way to their room.

"Problem?" Hannibal asked her as he rounded the corner into the room.

"The baby is beyond restless..." She groaned, closing her eyes, the infants movements now causing her more pain. Hannibal raised an eyebrow at her. He knew their little one seemed to hate sleeping, but Clarice had never grumbled about it

"How beyond restless?" He asked, tilting his head head, kneeling down, his head level with her stomach. She lowered the duvet to reveal her ever moving belly

"Good LORD..." he put a hand beneath her belly button. "Are there any contractions with that hissy fit?"  _ If this is what the child was like within her, what was it going to be like once out of her? _

"It's hard to tell... I think so but... They are hurting me so much it’s hard to tell, what's baby and what might be birth.” He nodded, rising to his feet, her carefully parted her legs, going to the bathroom he washed his hands thoroughly before returning. He carefully pressed his hand against her, nodding slightly, looking closely once he retracted his hand.

 

"Water hasn't broken yet, we still have time." He crossed to the phone. "Why didn't you yell for me when they started?" He asked as he dialled the number, trying to keep his tone calm.

"I don't know..." She said, closing her eyes,  _ Maybe because I was too busy being in pain, jackass... _

Hannibal called the doctor's office they had agreed upon, informing the receptionist, making the urgency required as clear as he could yet remaining relatively polite. After the call was made, he sat beside her on the bed, giving her his hand to squeeze.

"How bad is it?" His tone was soft and tender. She grasped his hand lightly, a small smile came to his lips as his thumb brushed the skin on the back of her hand.

"So far... I've had worse… Still not fun, but…” She nodded, “I’m ok.”

"Good, can you make it if I go grab some things to help when it gets worse?" She nodded, a tired smile on her lips. He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it before letting go.

He rushed out of the room, fetching a cold, wet rag, along with a bowl of cool ice water and a smaller dry piece of cloth before returning. He put the cold rag on her head, stroking tenderly.

“This is for you to bite if squeezing my hand stops helping." He sat beside her again. "I can sit here until the baby comes, the physician can see themselves in."  _ They know where the keys are. _

She nodded, reaching up she caressed his face lightly, a light layer of sweat covering her skin.

"Have you thought of any final names?" He asked her, trying to distract her from her pain. She smirked, shaking her head.

"We don't even know what we're having, not fully at least..." They had had the scans, but had agreed not to find out till the babe was born.

"Surely you were thinking about it though..." He asked, brow creasing slightly.

"Do you have any names?"

"I assumed you would want to name the baby..." he kissed at her hand. "We never really discussed it…” It made the idea of the child more certain, than the obvious changes it brought in Clarice.

"I was considering…” she paused, looking to him, biting her lip before continuing, “After her aunt, it it’s a girl?"

"You didn't have a sister." he said, brow furrowing.

"You did..." She said softly, her grasp on his hand tightening.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head as he exhaled, slowly.

"I don't know that naming our child after her. Would be the best idea." He was already haunted enough by her memory; could he say her name aloud every day? She nodded, kissing his hand

"Of course, it was just a suggestion…” She inwardly scolded herself, she had wanted to test the waters but now thought better of it.

"We can always determine a proper name once we see them, right?" He returned her gesture, kissing her knuckles. "How are you holding out?"

"Right, might be better to..." She sighed, closing her eyes as she tried to control the pain, "I've had worse... It's the pushing that I'm not keen on,” she confessed, this being the one aspect she had been dreading since the pregnancy was confirmed.

"Well you don't need to push yet anyway..." he said, eyes going to the door, listening. Nothing. He was growing irritated that no one had shown up yet. "How much longer can you wait?"

"Till I have to," she said, squeezing his hand gently.

"That's my girl," he smiled at the pressure of her hand. "Just a little longer, and the tadpole will be in your arms."  _ Hopefully VERY soon. _

"Feels more like a frog..." She teased, nodding, sniggering slightly, breathing in through her teeth at the next wave.

"Our baby isn't a frog." He scolded, he put his hand down on the bed, he pulled it up when he realized it was wet. He felt the colour draining from his skin slightly. "Clarice..."

"Hannibal?" She asked, brow furrowed, sighing, "I trust you..."  _ I know what’s happened… I know no one was coming, please… You can do this. _

"I would hope so by now," he said with raised, concerned brows. "Clarice, I don't mean to worry you, but… your water just broke. Are you still alright?" She nodded, breathing slowly, trying to control what little she could.

"I know... I guessed that... I don't think they're coming"  _ If they are I will rip them a new one... _

"No, no." He said curtly, forcing a smile, though it hung loose. "Don't say that. They're coming. They'll be here soon." She closed her eyes, nodding, hands on her stomach.

They sat together in silence for another ten minutes. It was clear that Clarice’s body, as well as their child, had no intention of waiting for much longer. Hannibal reluctantly accepted what Clarice had minutes before him, the doctors had failed them. Failed her. Abandoned their child. 

He squeezed her hand gently, kissing her knuckles.

“I’ll be back in a moment…” He said, going to gather what he would require for the birth. He returned, going to the foot of the bed, kneeling. He gently pulled her down, till her bottom hung off the end of the bed.

"Are you ready, Clarice?”

She nodded, gagging herself as she grasped onto the bed sheets, eyes closed tight, waiting for his instruction. He took a calming breath, and held his hands out beneath her, ready to grasp the child.

"Push."

She bit down as she screamed into the gag, pushing hard.

He wasn't surprised when her first push didn't yield much. It wasn't uncommon. His pulse race, sweat threatening to bead up on his brow, but he tried to keep his composed surface. He had helped deliver babies before, nothing had gone wrong that couldn't be helped, so why was he so nervous this time? 

_ It’s my child… _

"That was a good one, but not big enough. Again." He instructed, hand on her leg, stroking lightly as he tried to comfort her while staying focused. 

She evened out her breathing enough before she pushed harder, screaming into the gag more. Her efforts paid off a little more this time, their child's head emerged and he was able to grasp it. Their hair was visible, blood covered but a fair amount could still be seen.

"I can see them now…” He tried to calculate how much more she’d need to give, “two more pushes, and they'll be out. You're doing splendidly. Again."

She nodded, relaxing her hands before grabbing fresh fists of the bed sheets as she pushed as hard as she could again.

He took advantage of her push, pulling the baby out as much as he could, but the infant was still in her too tight.

“One more, I have them nearly completely now…” He looked down at the infant. A girl, a beautiful little girl. Little was right, she was smaller than he had anticipated, she had nearly slipped almost completely out with the few pushes, surprising him.

He should have been thrilled at the sight of his first child, but he wasn't. The baby's head was completely out, as was most of her body, in fact pretty much only its feet remained, but it was silent. The girl hadn't screamed. She wasn't breathing. 

"One more, last one…” he said, trying not to sound frantic. "She's all but out."  _ Hurry _ .... _Please, hurry._

Clarice could read her lover better than he would ever admit and pushed hard and fast for the sake of their child, their daughter… She repeated her breathing, attempts to relax, mentally prepare, before pushing hard. He quickly pulled on their baby, holding her close.


	5. Chapter 5

Hannibal wrapped the infant in on of the towels he had brought into the room, rubbing the child all over, vigorously, desperate to get a reaction, any reaction.

_ Scream. Scream! _

After pursuing this for a few minutes, he stopped, sighing heavily as he closed his eyes, giving up. He looked at the infant in his arms, their child, trying to think and forms words to tell Clarice what had had happened. That he had failed her, that all her energy and effort had been for nothing...

That was when he felt the small pressure on his hand. He looked down at his hand, and saw the tiny fingers wrapped around his. His breath caught in his throat. He swallowed hard.

_ Reflex? _

He looked down into his child's face. Two clear blue eyes were fixed upon his, brow creased, with the cherubic lips curled back in a scowl. The babe grunted slightly. He let out a shuddering breath of relief, laughing as it ran through his body. Closing his eyes, he held the infant close, stroking her hair tenderly.

"You did it..." he said quietly to his now exhausted lover catching her breath on the bed. "The baby is fine."

"You had me going for a second there..." Clarice smiled, enjoying a sight she didn't think she'd ever see. 

Hannibal Lecter, mass murderer and cannibal, holding her... Their baby girl close to himself, lovingly.

"Sorry…" he mumbled, regaining his composure as he properly severed and cleaned the baby so he could hand it off to its mother. 

He still couldn't believe the way that she was staring intently up at him. It was almost unnerving. He slipped a finger in front of her eyes, they tracked it. The child wasn't blind. Just able to focus gaze. As a newborn.  The tiny pink creature started to squirm, having turned her gaze to her mother. She wanted out of his arms and closer to her. 

"Oh hush," he fussed softly. "Be patient. She gets that from you..." he added at the end, smirking up at Clarice, before standing up and walking beside her. "Are you ready to hold the baby?"

"I believe I am..." She said, reaching for their child, brow furrowed, though she couldn't help but smirk at the look on their daughters face. "Such a serious little face for a newborn,"

”I know," he said, gently handing the infant to her. "I've never seen anything like it." He stood back, watching the two of them, making sure she was strong enough to hold the child up, and making sure the baby was still fine.

She shifted her top enough to let her breast slide out, guiding the teat to the newborn's mouth, stroking their lip before they naturally latched on and began to nurse. Starling felt an odd wave of emotion come over her, the idea of ever letting this little girl go again unthinkable.

He felt the tension actually melt away from him as he saw nature take its course, their child rooted healthily around and tried to nurse. Their child. It was something that he had been thinking about ever since he had found out about the pregnancy, but it hadn't really sunk in until now. The small baby nuzzling in Clarice's arms was also his baby... He smiled, going back to the foot of the bed, checking on the new mother once more, cleaning up. He would hate for anything to happen now just because he was being negligent.

"How do you feel?" He asked, looking up at her from his position.

"Sore... Tired..." She grinned at the suckling baby, "happier than I have ever felt in my life," she said, stroking the small layer of blonde hair on their child's head.

“Good." He looked down again, returning to the clean up. "Have you thought of a final name?" A name was important, yet here was their child, and they had yet to agree on one.

"I think so... But I'm still not one hundred percent on it..."

"Oh?”  _ Please, not  _ **_that_ ** _ one,  _ “care to share?"

"Mia..." She said, their daughter’s eyes flashing up to look at her, the intense look in them once again, brow creasing once again.

"Interesting. Where did you get that one?" They hadn't been one for the books or any of the other self-help garbage. He wondered where she had gotten her inspiration.

"Well, it is similar to my first suggestion encase we had a girl but is different enough for it to be hers and hers alone, if that makes any sense

"Mmhm" he said quietly. He remembered what her first suggestion had been, annoyed that his hint to avoid this seemingly being dismissed.

“She seems to like it, going by the look I'm getting…” Clarice said, sniggering as she lightly booped the baby's nose. She shook her head, brows raising, making her mother laugh more.

"Does she?" He couldn't help but be short while he was trying to maintain his composure, looking away from the happy scene. He finally looked back up, taking a deep calming breath "Mia what?"

"Does she need a middle name?” She asked, shaking her head, answering her questioned herself. He shrugged, doing his best to keep a straight face as he looked at his little family.

"Need, no. But I assumed you would have thought of one."

"Have you thought of one?" She challenged, looking at him. He shook his head.

"Wouldn't do much good to think of a middle name before we've thought of a first one," he moved back up the bed, sitting down beside the pair of them. He sighed softly, resting his arm around the new mother. He was still at a loss for words about the tiny human with the intense gaze in her arms. Clarice kissed the baby's nose, sighing happily, smirking.

"Wonder what she's thinking…”

"You believe babies 'think'?" He kissed his lovers temple, smirking, glancing down at the little girl still looking intently up at them. "She makes it look like she hates me for birthing her. Look at that scowl," he laughed, looking at his lover from the side of his eyes, "looks familiar."

"She was probably nice and warm," she teased.

"Well she can get used to it," he smiled down at the child, exaggerating his features, leaning in towards the infant. "Your mommy will tell you I'm mean. And she isn't wrong..." he singsong, wiggling her toes with his fingers. "It only gets worse from here. Yeah," he continued, still in the soft tone people often reserved for small dogs and small children. The new-borns scowl lightened, seeing through to who he was, her eyes sparkling lightly. He felt a slight flutter in his chest.

"Yeah, it isn't all bad, huh?" He kissed the sole of her foot and leaned back, closing his eyes. "I suppose I should be getting up, get her things ready for her, shouldn't I?" He tilted his head back against the headboard.

"I'd appreciate that..." Clarice yawned, chuckling slightly as the baby lightly flicked her foot, pointing their toes, wanting her daddy’s attention again.

"I'll be back," he said, slowly standing. "Did you need anything?"

"A light sleep would be nice..."

"If she's done nursing, I can just take her from you for now." She looked at the baby who was now watching Hannibal.

"I think she's decided for me…”

"Mmhm. Come here, tiny thing," he took her from her mother and held her to his chest. "Say goodnight to your mama. First day here and you've worn her out already,"  he took her little hand and tried to wave 'goodbye' with it.

"Night-night baby girl..." She smiled, sighing happily as she closed her eyes. 

He carried her into the room next to their own that would serve as her nursery, laying her down on the changing table, cleaning her up slightly, putting her in her first nappy and pajamas. The whole time she watched him, following his hands with her gaze now again, for the most part her eyes locked on his.

"You really are looking at me on purpose, aren't you?" He asked softly, still slightly amazed. To be aware for such a small baby was impressive, "and so quiet." He mused. Perhaps the baby was a mute. She didn't fuss much and was soon fully dressed. "You're a special little one, aren't you?" He asked, holding her close again.

She squirmed slightly, almost playfully as they looked at him, eyes large and adoring. He walked over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room, sitting down her place her on his lap, still held close to him.

He mimicked her gaze, tilting his head seeing what she would do once she was mirrored as he started to rock her. She lay her head against his chest, looking up at him, her little mouth hanging open slightly. He covered his eyes, and tried playing with her, seeing if he could get any reaction at all. 

"Peek-a-boo!" He said softly, quickly pulling his hand away from his eyes. The corners of her mouth twitched into a smile as she chirped happily

"There it is!" He said happily at her first noise. "Yeah, you're a good girl after all, huh?" He picked up one of her feet again, blowing a raspberry on its sole, before snuffling it like he was going to gobble her up. She chirped again, clapping her hands happily. He chuckled down at the happy newborn in his hands. 

"You're such a good girl," he said with a smile. "Are you my good girl? Huh?" He held out his finger for her to take, chew on or shake about, whatever she wished to. She took hold of his fingers, eyes large and bright. He smiled contentedly and began to hum softly down at her while they rocked.

"Let's see if we can get you to nap," he whispered. She snuggled into him, smiling softly, as he began to hum a random light tune. He held her close, looking at his child nestling in his arms an old memory began tugging at the edges of his memory. The nonsensical humming slowly turned into a distantly familiar tune, and it turned into a ghost of a lullaby from his past. She closed her eyes, listening to him, her fingers flexing. He continued to sing softly to her, rocking her slowly back and forth and rubbing tiny circles on her back. She fell asleep, snuggled into his chest.


	6. Chapter 6

The couple settled into their new life as parents more easily than either would have assumed, their little girl being each one’s focus when she was around or awake.

Hannibal sat in the quiet dark of their living room in the early morning, enjoying what little quiet time he had left before the sun and the baby would rise. Clarice walked in, little Mia, as they had agreed to call her, in her arms as she went to the play mat they had laid out for their child. She set the little girl on her back so she could play and watch the hanging toys above her.

"She didn't cry again... She just lay watching the door..."

"You'd think she would learn that's how she could get us to come running..." he said, slowly opening his eyes and looking down at their child. "Maybe she doesn't mind just lying there. "

"Maybe... She is a little thinker after all... You hungry at all?"

"Not particularly. Are you?" he straightened in his seat.

"I could eat, so yeah... I'm making some breakfast

"I can get it," he stood. "You can stay and watch Mia."

"Thank you..." She looked to where their daughter had been, paling. "Where is she?!"

"What do you mean where is she?" He asked, turning his head and seeing the play mat empty. He quickly crossed the room, eyes on the ground looking for her. "Are you sure that's where you put her?" he dropped to his knees, looking under things. There was no way she could be crawling yet. Clarice rushed around the room frantically, searching anywhere that their little girl could reach.

"Mia, Mia sweet thing, where are you..."

He crawled quickly around the room, looking everywhere he thought Mia might be able to fit. When they had looked all around the room, he started down the hall, calling for her.

Mia sat on the balcony, close to the bars, watching the world below, in her own world, softly cooing to herself

Hannibal walked past the open doors, and quickly backpedalled in his steps, eyes wide as he saw where his child was. He quietly walked up next to her, not wanting to frighten her.

"Mia..." he scolded her softly as he scooped her up and away from the balcony bars. "You shouldn't wander off like that." He brought her back inside and shut the doors. "I've found her" he called out as he walked her back.

The baby girl looked up at her father clearly unimpressed that she had been disturbed, lightly patting his cheek to tell him off He raised an eyebrow at her and pursed his lips in slight disbelief before re-entering the room where her mother was.

"We'll need to get baby gates as soon as possible." he said, crossing the room to her. "And start shutting ALL of the doors." he shook his head. There was no way she would believe where Mia had ended up.

"I didn't even know she could crawl yet... Is she alright? She doesn't look happy with you..." Clarice said, physically relieved on seeing their daughter

"She's very young to be crawling still yet. Maybe she rolled?" He tilted his head and looked at Mia as though he were addressing the question to her. "She's fine, but I'm glad I found her when I did. I think she's just cross because she was caught," he stuck his tongue out at her.

"We would have heard that surely... I hope..." She said, brow furrowed, as Mia seemingly rolled her eyes at her father, lightly patting his cheek again

"Defiant little thing," he muttered under his breath and shook his head. "Would you like her, mama?" He asked, tilting the babe towards her. "Or do you want me to put her down so we can see how she's getting around?"

Mia stuck her tongue out at him, a small smile on her lips making Clarice snigger  
"If she is your child as much as she seems, Hannibal, she will sit perfectly still now"

"Oh?" He asked with a smirk. "And what do you mean by that?" He looked back at their child in his arms. "Your mother likes to antagonize."

"When you were expected to do something... Naughty," she said, eyes going to their child, "you never did..."

"Mmm..." he cleared his throat and lightly bounced their baby. "So, what should we do then?"

"We could go for a walk?" She asked, looking to the baby girl who was watching her father, chewing her li

"Sounds good. Did you still want breakfast?"

"We could eat out? See how well our little lady behaves in public... See if she is as charming as her daddy"

"You don't think she is a little young?"

"She may well be crawling, won't be long before she's walking... Besides I think it'd be nice, the three of us outside... We could take her paddling"

"I just meant because she is still breastfeeding. And how much sleep is she supposed to be getting?" He still lightly rocked her, "We would have to get her little sun hat out."

"We could begin to introduce a few solids, she is old enough to if we're careful"

"Sounds good." he kissed their baby's head. "So let's get her ready."

"Come to mama baby girl," Clarice said, gently taking their daughter, carrying her to the nursery to change her into another outfit

Mia scowled up at her mother, not because she was angry. Serious was just always her default expression. Otherwise she was perfectly co-operative to getting dressed and handled.   
Clarice rolled her eyes at her child slightly, kissing her nose before carrying her back out to her father,  


"Would you like to get ready first or shall I?"

"You can go ahead." He said, taking their daughter and setting her in the middle of the play mat. "We will be in here." She nodded, smiling softly as she went to get ready.

Mia looked up at her father, head tilted to the side, eyes narrowed. He stood and turned his back to his child, listening carefully but pretending not to notice a thing. Mia reached up and took the hat off of her head, tossing it aside. He stayed patient but remained still, waiting to hear more movement. There was silence as Mia sat staring up at him, brow furrowed more than usual, not liking his back being to her, her nose and lips twitching as tears threatened

"Da...Da!"  
  
He tilted his head to the side, back still to her. Surely he hadn't heard what he thought he had just heard.  
  
"Da..Da!" Mia said louder this time, her bottom lip protruding, eyes watering up

He twirled around, eyes wide. He crouched down so that he was on her level and tilted his head at her.

"Did you just yell at me little one?" She patted his face lightly, same as she had earlier

"Da.Da!"  
  
A smirk crossed his features as he tried to hide his excitement. He scooted away from her, seeing if she would crawl to follow. He turned his head away like he was ignoring her again but stayed crouched on her level. She took her shoe off and went to throw it at him when something dawned on her little mind, giggling she crawled over to him, patting his bare feet

"So you CAN crawl." He snatched her up, blowing raspberries on her stomach. "Little monkey." She squealed with glee and purest joy, squirming playfully

"Dada!"

"Crawling and talking in the same day." he sighed as he stopped tickling her, giving her a break. "You're going to give your poor mother a heart attack if this keeps up little one." She frowned deeply at him

"Dada..." She said, in a tone of disapproval

"Oh hush," he smirked and kissed at her little pink fingers. He put her down on the floor again. "Go get your hat, little one." he pointed to the lump of fabric on the floor where she had left it. She stayed put, looking around as if she hadn't heard him

"Go on," he gently applied pressure to her back and nodded at her hat. "Be a good girl." She shook her head no, staying put

"Go. Get. It," he said softly but firmly. With a seeming silent sigh Mia turned and got her hat

"Thank you little one. Was that so hard?" He applauded her obedience, clapping for her. "You're a good girl."

She narrowed her eyes at him, looking away. He tickled her, nuzzling at her neck and belly. He would get her to smile one way or another. She glowered at him, her lips pressed into a thin line. He stopped tickling her and put her on the ground on her back in front of him. He mimicked her scowl. Mia looked at him, her frown disappearing slowly as she her little mind wondered what she'd done to upset her father, she rolled onto her front, crawling to him she cuddled his leg, a soft pleading smile on her lips. He smirked to himself and continued to emulate her, turning his head away from her with his nose in the air and his arms crossed as he continued to pout.

"Dada..." She said, her voice soft and hurt, breaking slightly as her eyes welled up.

He looked down at her and sniffed, not budging an inch.

"Dada..." She repeated, tears rolling down her cheeks as she crawled into his lap, "dada"

He heard her voice breaking as she cried and finally turned to look at her.

"See?" he said softly. "It isn't nice when someone ignores you, is it Mia?" He raised his eyebrows at her, adjusting her on his lap. She cuddled him close, nuzzling into him

He smirked and plopped her hat back down on her head before kissing her on the cheek.

"You're a rotten one, aren't you?" She stuck her tongue out at him

“You want to see if we can startle your mother?" he winked.

She tilted her head to the side, looking up at him

"Be sneaky with me." he said and picked her up. He held a finger to his lips then slipped almost silently down the hall to the room where Clarice was getting dressed. "You ready?" he asked her softly, looking into the cracked door. She stared at him, a brow raised at him.

He tiptoed in the room and snuck up behind his lover, wrapping a hand around her eyes.

"Get mama!" he held Mia out in her direction, seeing if she would squeal or latch on. She reached for her mother, bemused by the whole situation.

"Hannibal you're confusing the little lady..." Clarice said, smirking

“Oh, I think she’s full of more mischief than you realize."

He returned her smirk, and straightened the child up in his arms. "Are you close to finished?"

"I'm pretty much done, yeah"

"Ready to trade then?" he kissed their baby's forehead.


	7. Chapter 7

Clarice and Hannibal sat together in the living room of their home in separate armchairs. Clarice looked down at their daughter who was feeding at her breast He turned to Clarice and nodded to their child.

"How long before she's out do you think?" He smirked, "so Santa can come visit."

"I think after she's full she'll be off to sleep soon after”

"Good," he glanced back down at their child whose eyes were getting heavier and heavier by the moment.

Clarice finished feeding her, fixed her top before rising to her feet

"Bed time little lady.”

Mia fussed and fought sleep, rubbing her slow blinking eyes with little fists.

"I think someone wants daddy's magic touch," Clarice teased, her partner always able to put their baby to sleep.  
  
He rolled his eyes and took their child from her, leaning in for a moment with a smirk against her ear.

"You know that my 'magic touch' gets saved for mama." he whispered before turning back down to their child with a small smile. "Shh…" he gently bounced her. "Close your eyes, Mia."

She shook her head, eyes large as she grasped his shirt

"Shh..." he rubbed her head and rocked her from side to side.

"Dada..." She whimpered, eyes pleading

"What is it baby?" He asked, concern muddling his bedtime smile. He tilted his head at her. "What's the matter?" he asked her softly.

She looked to the Father Christmas sign put by her door that morning. He followed her gaze and raised an eyebrow with curiosity before turning so that she had her back to her door and he was facing it. She calmed but was still on edge, clinging to her father.

"What's wrong with her?"

He talked to his lover without taking his eyes off of their child.

"Clarice, will you grab that sign next to her room and show it to her for a moment?"

"Erm, alright..." She said, picking it up, showing their little girl who began to cry heavily, trying to hide in her father’s arms

He instantly pulled her close to his chest and started rocking her again, trying to make calming noises as he nodded to Clarice and then to the sign.

"Maybe we put that up for now?" He said before trying to shush their daughter. "You're okay, you're okay. We're all here, it can't get you," he tried the little nonsense words that calm toddlers. She nodded, taking it out of the room, brow furrowed.

Mia looked up at her father, eyes large and red, her bottom lip trembling.

"You're okay,” he assured her. "Look," he showed her the door "it's gone. You're fine."

He knocked on the door and lightly took her hand to try and show her it wasn't hidden anywhere.

"See? No tears."

She looked, nodding as she snuggled close to her father.

"Our baby is scared of Santa..." Clarice remarked with a slight smirk

"That would appear to be the case." he said as he rocked their child, trying to get her back to sleep once more. "Wonder how long that will last." he kissed their daughter's blonde head and chuckled to himself.

She relaxed into him, but gently bopped his cheek

"She does not like being laughed at, naughty daddy," Clarice teased

He continued smirking down at Mia and kissed the hand that had patted at him.

"She is certainly her own person already, isn't she?" He asked quietly, taking his eyes away from Mia to look over at Clarice. "Any theories where that strong personality came from?"

"Hmm, I wonder," she smirked

"Let's see if we can get her to lay down..." he whispered and walked into their daughter's dark room, turning on the night light and crossing over to her bed. "Bedtime Mia," he kissed their heavy-lidded daughter's forehead and started to lower her down.

"Dada?" She asked softly, smiling sleepily up at him

"Shh." he tried to lull her. "Time to sleep little girl." he glanced at Clarice. "Any advice?"

"Dada...?" She asked again, brow creasing slightly

"Answer her?" She shrugged, although motherly naturally in some ways she could never get Mia to sleep  
  
He returned her shrug and looked back down at their daughter.

"Yes Mia?" There was no way that she was actually asking something. Probably just fussing because he had put her down. She took his finger in her hand, smiling sweetly in the way she did

"Love dada..."

Both eyebrows raised and he inhaled sharply. His little girl had taken him off guard. He looked up at her mother for confirmation of what their daughter had just said. Clarice did her best to hide the slight hurt she felt on her first sentence being that, as if her mother didn't exist.

"She always was a daddy's girl, even when she was in me"

He felt himself instantly torn, and looked back down at their daughter.

"Do you want to tell your mama 'good night' as well?" Blow a kiss. Say 'love' again. He was willing her silently. Anything would help. She nodded, looking towards her mother  


"m...mmmm..."  
  
He looked down at her, hopeful, she was so close. Just one vowel sound away from making Clarice feel better. Come on! Clarice perked up, hearing their little one trying she walked over to her, smiling down at her  


"Mmm..." Mia repeated, getting annoyed at herself, she went with her new word she could do, "love!"  
  
He chuckled down at her and looked from her to her mother.

"You love mama?" He smiled at her and wrapped an arm around Clarice.

"Love... Mi!" She said, beaming up at them, as Clarice burst out laughing

"Oh she is you...."

He laughed with her.

"Hush." he scolded her and gently pinched at her bottom. "She tried, didn't you?" he asked down to her. "You tried very hard." He winked.

"Well either way, I love you too princess," she leaned down, kissing her nose, "you are gonna knock them dead when you grow up, I can tell... Such a charmer”

"Don't give her any ideas," he said and walked towards the door. "Let's see if we can sneak away so S-A-N-T-A can make his rounds."

"Come on," she said, putting the mobile on as they slowly left the room

As soon as the door was shut, he wrapped arm around her once more.

“You know she does love you, don't you?"

"I do, I'm sorry. I love you too, apple of our baby’s eyes”

"I honestly don't know what I could be doing any different from you," he confessed as he made his way to their room where the presents were hidden. "It's just a phase."

"You were the first one she saw, maybe that's it?" She asked, picking up half the gifts

"Maybe." he looked at one of the boxes. "What, exactly, is this?" he asked, showing it to her.  
  
"What?" She teased, laying everything out for Christmas morning

"What all did you get her...why?" he looked at the blue dog-looking character on the box and shook his head. "Every child needs... whatever the hell this is."

"It's her first Christmas, I wanted to have all she could want till next year

He shook his head and laughed.

"Of course," he got a roll of the paper and started cutting.


End file.
